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Brownies by ZZ packer seemed to be a bit everywhere at times when ‘snot’ was describing each character, often revealing a new girl amongst their troop almost as soon as she began a new scene in the short story. I have to admit that I didn’t really like the use of that, but though it was annoying at first, it kind of grew on me after a few more times, since it seemed ZZ packer was making a habit of it. But in the end I still liked the short story.
ReplyDeleteMoving on to Laplante’s chapter, Chapter 5 basically puts it bluntly that the “Show don’t tell” rule has been taught to us all wrong. And rather than having writers believe that it is a law set in stone to follow, we must be able to challenge this rule and try to show ,and tell in order to create something worthwhile. In other words a short story may not be able to survive sufficiently on only “showing”. The story(in order to be understood) may need to tell the reader information specifically in clear detail ( since not every reader is going to know what your thinking). In other words they have to tell the reader whats going on.
Overall I liked the Brownies story, and I thought chapter 5 was actually pretty helpful, since it was nice to know that you can use both showing and telling within your short story. And theirs nothing really stoping you as a writer from doing so.
-Kathleen m. Salinas
Chapter Five revolves the topic of showing or telling plot progression in literary works. Writers have the option to either narrate the story through their own words or show the plot through character development and insight, and dialogue. Essentially, while LaPlante explains that each aspect is more important than the other, she comes to the conclusion that they are intertwined. Both writing elements are a necessity to create a literary piece. She believes the while the element of ‘telling’ can be eliminated if the aspect of ‘showing’ is stronger, then cut it, but the art of ‘telling’ proves to be a strong element that delivers the story ‘more efficiently, elegantly, beautifully, or subtly (156.)’
ReplyDelete“Brownies is a story set in a ‘separate but equal’ world within Atlanta suburbia. In the south, racial tensions have flourished regardless of progressive politics and the push for racial equality. This story touches on the issue of reverse racism in my opinion. It shows the opposite of the spectrum and shows how people of color react to racism behind closed doors. It shows hate from both sides of the spectrum. That being said, people have a reason to hold animosity towards their oppressors. ‘Brownies’ shares insight on how social issues like racism clouts our rationality, and empathy. It cause people to make assumption like the troupe did towards their accusers.
Pedro Trevino
“Brownies” by ZZ Packer, I loved this story, I found It highly relatable because I was a Cub Scout and eventually reached the ranks of Boy Scout. The setting was familiar, the campgrounds, the details brought the story to life but nothing about the story made me feel like the details mattered all the much to the plot but were much more valuable towards the setting of the story. I think what really stood out to me was the challenging of traditional conventions, I can identify Race, Religion and Gender as being the issues that are brought to light through the lenses of the young Brownie’s. Another aspect, and issue that arises between the brownies and adult camp leaders, is age difference. The age difference plays a huge role in the way the girls interpret behavior and their own responses. The adults all carried this very lighthearted tone yet oppressively dominant, making the girls sing, telling them what to do, just overall imposing their own personal beliefs onto the girls thinking it is good for them. The tone of the little girls was much more unfiltered, they had their emotions at the chest and it just flowed throughout haphazardly responding to the things around them. The parents and camp leaders serve as the filter for the brownie’s actions, they step in whenever they feel like the emotions of the brownies are getting out of hand, in the story it mentions how the campgrounds were used for a band camp and field hockey, an accident occurs and a girl is left paralyzed, to me this part of the story highlights growth and “learning lessons”, the more I type the more I feel like this story is a complete coming of age story. To quickly talk about race, the issue is that one of the brownies heard another girl call someone the N-word, they decide to ambush the other troop of girls in response, which to the girls, is justified, as far as they are concerned they have been disrespected and respond to get back. The fact that the girls attempt to fight is challenging the conventions of gender, boys are the fighters and girls are supposed to be composed and polite. This story to me is a coming of age story and how our minds, and consciousness ignorantly develops based on our own weak understandings of the world at such a young age. I only wish the parents would have let the girls fight or rather let things unfold naturally, but the parents knew things could quickly get out of hand, because they’ve lived life and been through mistakes, the only mistakes they did was not allowing the girls to learn from their mistakes, which is something I believe strongly.
ReplyDeleteMark Benitez
This chapter was really great. It was full of useful information. In my first creative writing class we were exposed to the show don’t tell axiom. At the time I found it to be illuminating in so far as it emphasized to me the importance of developing a vivid narrative through those “dramatized” scenes as defined by LaPlante. In this chapter though, LaPlante illuminates the necessity of telling which really added a new dimension to the ever-popular proverb of creative writers everywhere. The best example of effective telling was in the excerpt from Lolita. It was so gripping and genuinely interesting that I purchased the book and read the excerpt over about five times through just to listen to that voice tell me. LaPlante’s main idea, however, is not in pushing telling over showing or vice versa but to show us that a well-written narrative has elements of both which arise organically and only favor whichever works best for the narrative at a particular moment. Like in Lolita there is no sway towards telling or showing, instead there are moments in which it is better told than shown. The short-story Brownies by ZZ Packer is also an adequate demonstration of the intermingling of show and tell.
ReplyDeleteAndres Trevino
In chapter's 5 "Show Don't Tell" mentions a few good tips and provided many examples of what to do and what not to do in story writing. It is more engaging to the reader and memorable when rather showing than telling. You also add depth to your characters through these actions as well as leaving room for more dialogue.
ReplyDeleteIn "Brownies" by ZZ Packer, I felt it brought up many sensitive topics especially to have to write about young girls talking about certain things was interesting to read how Packer wrote about these characters. Not only were there characters of different race, but a group with a different mentality. Packer was able to make this piece authentic especially with the 4th grade girl characters. It was the way they talked and had planned their plot to fight the other girl(s) and just the way they behaved all throughout. She as well did a good job with imagery as she describes troop 909 getting off the bus with their belongings. I felt everything was convincing and falls right into that category of show don't tell like La Plante mentions.
-Illiana Luna
“Brownies” by ZZ Packer is a challenging story in which a group of young individuals must focus and revolve around a world that is packed with racism. As the story progresses with the young girls taking their spots at the camp, we begin to see how these girls react towards other people who are different from them in almost every aspect. In correlation with “Chapter 5”, we can see how they act and we are shown the story rather than it being described. The girls act as if they are figures, and it is up to them to pass judgement for any crimes that the white girls have done. With this tone, the story is presented as a moment that makes us think about the world in the context of younger kids. These girls believe that they cannot let any transgressions occur against them or their group from white people because of the racial tensions that are occurring. From “Chapter 5”, in which we are told to “show and not tell”, it makes sense the amount of details the story protagonist puts in when observing all things. Thus, by having a insightful protagonist in the form of the main character, we are being shown all that occurs and how it alters the story. Overall, we can see the the central themes present in the story as it is shown to us in a picture of how these youths act amongst each other.
ReplyDeleteDavid Leal
It's always good to be reassured and Laplante seems to do that swell in almost every chapter. This chapter specifically discusses the roles of showing and telling. Its a great topic, and one that is well needed in creative writing. With every point made so far in the book, it seems that we are getting a greater glimpse of what writing is as a discourse. Simply put, its a complicated matter. But one that's fun. and important.
ReplyDeleteBrownies was an okay story, it didn't quite get my attention. However, that doesn't mean it wasn't good. It provided many examples of what story telling and story showing can be. It also took advantage of the stopping the clock concept that Laplante mentions in the chapter. All in all, both readings were contributing. I guess if I were to apply it to me, I'd say I'm more of a teller. LaPlante mentions some continuum of showing and telling. I feel I am more along the lines of telling.
Mykle Angelo
In Chapter 5, “Why You Need to Show and Tell” LaPlante talks about how important it is to do both show and tell. She defines what it means to show and what it means to tell. Show means to dramatize, allowing the reader to be an eyewitness and tell means to tell exact things that occur such as history, explanations, thoughts, and emotions, among other things. The story, “Brownies” by ZZ Packer is about a group of girls staying at a camp called Crescendo, the girls are known as brownie troops and are girls of color, along with a group called Brownie Troop 909 who are Caucasian and whom we come to find out are girls with learning disabilities. The story was good; I enjoyed reading it and found myself getting upset at certain scenes and characters. Like Arnetta, she was a character that frustrated me and annoyed me. For example when she wanted to fight the group 909 and made up a lie to achieve it. Or how the whole group treated Laurel unfairly and called her Snot. Or how Octavia did things to please Arnetta and look good in her eyes. Like when Octavia made a comment about her mom and looked at Arnetta almost seeking approval. I was so upset.
ReplyDeleteAlejandra Rodriguez
I found "Brownies" to be quite an interesting story. I've read and seen many stories dealing with racial conflict, but never told quite like this. It was quite interesting seeing this type of story being told from the perspective from a group of African-American girl scouts. The relationship between the main character and her friends feels like a number of stories involving children's interactions with each other. In addition, I don't know much about scouts in general, so I was incredibly fresh in all the descriptions of what scouts are like. One thing that stuck out was the title. Even with the little knowledge I have on scouts, I know "Brownies" is a certain level of girl scouts. So one would assume this is what the title refers to. But at the same time, the racial subject matter in this story is also likely where the title refers to. I'm thinking that some word-play can be going on in regards to why the story is called "Brownies" referring to both the girl scout level as well as the racism. It feels very clever.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I actually enjoy the "The Doughnut Song." A very clever gospel song to sing with children. Obviously the girls don't agree.
Michael McCormick
This chapter had a really interesting take on the whole concept of “show don’t tell” and how that has been kind of ingrained into the mind of the writer as it was taught to us. The whole “show don’t tell” thing stays with me every time I’m writing, and it’s interesting to hear LaPlante have this version of the idea that says that both showing and telling are important in different ways and aid each other in the process of getting through to the reader. It’s clear that there is always a bit of telling rather than showing in writing, whether it is intentional or not, but to consider it another tool for the writer’s tool belt, something to help along the part where the reader is being shown is definitely a different light to look at it in than I had previously considered. It seems like this is happening a lot with the different chapters we have gone over in this book, and I wonder how many techniques I carry with me from previous writing courses that may be hindering me or forcing a sort of tunnel vision when it comes to the way I view how my writing should come across to the average reader. It urges me to keep challenging the norms I was taught in the first place.
ReplyDeleteComing back to the story, Brownies, I found this story to be really interesting. I was never in the girl scouts, though my youngest cousins have been involved with that kind of thing for a while now. It was really interesting to see the way that ZZ Packer illustrated the dynamics within this sub-culture of girl scouts, especially when it came to the topics of race, etc and how the characters handled all of that. It felt really authentic and realistic, even down to the feeling of the campgrounds that permeated through the story.
Lauryn Flores
I'm not sure how I feel about this story...I don't quite like it, but I don't quite hate it either. Although, I will say that ZZ Packer did use her own unique combinations of showing and telling throughout her story, just as LaPlante mentions in the chapter. Packer shows this in her short story through the: dialogue between characters, actions and reactions among characters, objective descriptions, background information, and specific thoughts of the characters involved, particularly those of our narrator, Laurel a.k.a. Snot. As we've discussed in class, everything included in a short story has a meaning and serves a purpose, and Packer does convey this notion through showing and telling, but what I can't figure out is the purpose of the characters, Mrs. Margolin and Mrs. Hedy. The story is focused on the Brownies and when these characters were mentioned, I felt that it wasn't necessary to the story - did I really need to know that Mrs. Margolin wore weird belts or that Mrs. Hedy was dealing with marital problems? Maybe that's why I didn't particularly like the story - here are group of girls dealing with an issue which is much more significant than they realize and they rather deal with it on their own than go to their troop leaders, which they could have helped the girls grasp the concept of the situation without ever instigating the other girls.
ReplyDeleteKarla Olvera
While this chapter was very helpful, I felt it was a lot of information at once and I didn’t really process it well? I was confused for a large majority of the chapter, but the examples excerpts (“Hills Like White Elephants”, A Thousand Acres, The Shipping News, “Everything That Rises Must Converge”, “Scratch Music”) help clear up and get across the point LaPlante was trying to make. I think what was actually the most helpful was the line chart on page 160 that listed all of the excerpts from “Pure Showing” to “Pure Telling”, and without that I might have been totally lost altogether.
ReplyDeleteI kind of enjoyed Brownies because it portrayed aspects pointed out by LaPlante, but I also disliked it because a lot of the characters were little brats. I can’t stand children like Arnetta and Octavia, so throughout the whole of their scheme, I was really irritated. I found it interesting that there were instances where Packer would “show” and then right after immediately “tell,” and I’m not sure if that was intended for the audience, or if that’s his general writing style. I’m sure this story is really enjoyable to people who can relate, but I really couldn’t enjoy it because of how nasty those two little girls were, and how they manipulated and abused their troop (and troop 909 as well.)
Ayesha Crutchfield
Funny how something told countless of times is considered wrong. Is there anything else I was told wrong about writing? “Show, don’t tell” has always been a comment through the years, especially in in a few of my writing classes. The part that should’ve been included that LaPlante mentioned is that too much is either good or bad for one side or the other. There has to be a decent balance between showing us how the character’s actions and setting are (using the all mighty 5 senses, metaphors, similes, and so forth) and telling us the story immediately. In a way, it depends on the way the story is given to us, let it be told to us very well and spoiling not so much of the story or giving us a well-planned stage of characters interacting and acting their part quite smoothly and organic. It is interesting how “clock stopping/starting” is a tool used in our pieces. Heck, we might have done so between dialogues, like a crystalized moment just to be shown or told what the character is thinking or feeling or bound to do.
ReplyDeleteI fell asleep halfway through the story. “Brownies” was an okay story, giving some prime examples of showing and telling. Maybe it was the telling portions that nodded me off to sleep (or I’ve been sleeping too damn late). Just the sting of being told a racial slur between each other provides an offensive feeling, especially show how ineffective one feels when telling the comment.
Hector Dimas
In chapter 9, there was a so much useful information I almost wished it was a few pages longer. In the section on conflict, Foster’s input talks about finding your characters “three-quarters hidden like an iceberg” (283) this takes less pressure off that nagging need to produce something in your writing and allowing your characters to develop and respond. The five bullet points provided on page 284 are great ways that I used to further develop my story when I felt “stuck”. The chapter was also a bit a relief to read. I have found myself writing too much, then editing and deleting what I have, then second guessing myself as to if the information I am providing the reader is too vague or too overbearingly obvious, it’s been a struggle to find a balance. I liked the way she opened it with the differences between the story and plot and then transitioned into avoiding clichés in plots.
ReplyDeleteBrownies was a good read. I particularly enjoyed how Packer weaved the racial tension as an undertone throughout the story and ended it with real and stern finish. The details of setting as the days went by was enjoyable. “…the sunshine made one large white rectangle of light. We…. shielded our eyes with our hands, and forearms” (170) This is a interesting way of giving a familiar relation to the trip. The challenges the troop faces and also the climax to the actual confrontataion was unexpected. I liked the way the story ended and how Laurel shared her story of the religious group and her family’s porch.
-Amanda Gonzales
I’ve taken several classes that have prompted us to show versus tell, to provide a “dramatization” over a list of backstory and facts. Personally, it's not something I've ever paid attention to when writing as it all just “happens” on its way out of my head. I've never thought to actively differentiate between the two. Laplante’s excerpts of Robert Stone’s “Helping” helped to visualize how a story can be ineffectively “told”. It's clear just how boring it can make a story when the reader is left to build the world on their own. Lolita on the other hand, was a great example of telling creatively; the language throughout the book is flipped around and manipulated in such a satisfying way, I don't think I would have been able to notice back when I read it, what was being told or shown.
ReplyDelete“Brownies” by ZZ Packer is narrated by Laurel, who isn't called by anything other than Snot up until the end. Through her eyes we are told, right from the start, what is happening, where, and who these girls are. Characters are both told and shown- using imagery and dialogue, tone and gesture. I didn't find it lacking in either its dramatization nor narration.
Robin Turrubiates
In this chapter LaPlante gave excellent advise on the 'show-don't-tell rule professors always seem to instill in their students. In past classes, I've always struggled with showing and it made me think telling was prohibited at all times when writing. LaPlante has now made this very clear for me:telling is not bad. She speaks of a balance a writer should have as well as the right way to 'tell' in a story. Although this somewhat relieved me and will help de-stress my mind, it also made me a little more hesitant with how to write the 'telling'. If the only way to write a good narrative is by being an expert at it, it will still be difficult for me to get to that point with my writing, but, at least now I know it's not something I should refrain from doing when writing. With the great examples she provides, I think it'll be easier to start figuring it out.
ReplyDelete"Brownies" was a really solid example of the balance of showing and telling. Although there is more telling than showing, the pauses in between were never too long or left me confused. The point of the story was a bit vague (or maybe it was meant to be interpreted with your own perspective) because it delt with various controversial topics, but it was a great story nonetheless.
Diana Gonzalez